A long time coming...

Well.  As my dad keeps reminding me, "Life as a Struby is languishing."  He's right.  I've got to keep up with this, because...well, let's face it, life is happening and our little girl is growing SO very quickly that I'm already worried about losing track of every wonderful, little detail.  One of my friends does a great little monthly update on her son and family.  I think that's perfect and completely do-able.  So that shall be my goal.  Starting with now.

(The following is more of a journal entry for myself, just to document Addison's birth and these past six months - YES, SIX MONTHS - for posterity, and mostly so I don't forget the fun, little details.)  

To wrap up the pregnancy portion of the blog, my last blog was March 11th.  I suppose nothing remarkable happened that week, except that I swelled and swelled and swelled.  Overall, I was beyond uncomfortable.  Scott did give me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings for my and Addison's birthday present.  He said I needed to have them in case I went into labor.   March 17th (a Saturday), Scott's old roommate and his wife, Stacey, who had also just moved to Austin, invited us to go to Saltlick BBQ for the afternoon to eat and listen to music.  To be very honest, it was the last thing I wanted to do.  I had not ever met Dustin and Stacey (so I didn't know how great they were!), it was the first warm day of Spring and my only pregnancy clothes were winter-ish, we were going to be sitting outside...on a picnic table...I mean, come on, I was barely even comfortable on the couch in Scott's clothes!  And let's not forget that I hated BBQ throughout my pregnancy.  (which, thank goodness, has since resolved.)  But, I decided to be a good sport.  So after about an hour of trying to find clothes to cover my belly (not to look cute, just to be covered), and shoes that Scott could barely buckle around my swollen feet (because they were waaay out of reach for me), we went.  Honestly, I had a great time.  Although I had pre-warned Scott that I thought I could only bear about an hour, we stayed most of the afternoon.  I'm thankful to have good friends in Austin!

Sunday, March 18th (my 29th birthday), I woke up at 6am.  Maybe a while before.  I got out of bed at 6am.  I was wearing the biggest tshirt Scott owned, a pair of his basketball shorts, because I had outgrown all of my clothes, maternity clothes, pjs, and even a lot of his clothes.  He later told me I looked like a "knocked up high school basketball player."  Sweet, huh?  I really regret not taking a picture at that point, just so I could look back and see it now.  Anyway, I got out of bed with one thought in my head: "THIS BABY HAS TO HAVE A QUILT!"  I always made baby quilts for friends/family, but I had ZERO energy/nesting in my entire pregnancy, so I never even started one.  Until that day.  I busted out my sewing machine, the iron/board and some fabric I'd had (and loved) forever and started whipping up a quilt.  About 7:30 or 8, Scott and Deacon peered around the corner into the living room, man and dog equally wide-eyed, and Scott said, "What is going on in here?  Are you ok?", to which I replied...the only thing in my mind..."THIS BABY HAS TO HAVE A QUILT!"  I worked on it all day.  We broke for meals, of course, since I was eating for 2...or 5 at this point.  But I pieced nearly the entire top.  It is so pretty.  And I haven't touched it since.

Tuesday, March 20, I showered at night because I had my SUPER early, weekly 7:15am dr. appt.  I was ready to have a serious conversation about induction.  I was uncomfortable, she was measuring big.  I felt like I had legitimate reasons to convince him to induce me immediately.  Scott wanted to induce on a Friday, so we had the weekend, blah blah blah...always the planner.  I went to bed with wet hair (yuck!) and was startled awake at 11:00pm.  Scott swears he heard a pop; Deacon jumped up, and I realized I had "wet the bed".  Yup, just like in the movies, the way they say it will never happen, my water broke.  While standing awkwardly next to the bed, trying to wake up/make sense of everything/make it stop, I allegedly asked Scott to "please bring me a towel so I can fashion a diaper."  Who says that??  So we headed for the hospital, and after back-tracking to get my makeup, which I forgot (it seemed important then; Scott was not happy about that detour), and got there a little after midnight.  We called my mother, who decided she couldn't miss one second:  she got up, got dressed and was on the road by 1am.  We were immediately admitted into a room, as I passed the "wet pants test", which is apparently a good thing in L&D...all the nurses cheered.

The thing was, I never had contractions on my own.  Scott and I heard slightly different versions of the statistics, but the doctor basically told us the next morning that it is very rare for a woman's water to break prior to starting contractions, and that when it happens that way, it typically ultimately results in a c-section.  I wasn't afraid of a c-section, I just NEVER thought I would have to have one.  I don't know why - it just never seemed like an option or really even crossed my mind.  I would just deliver.  With meds, of course.  I think Scott just wanted it it over with - he wanted immediate c-section.  Truth be told, I think he was more afraid of L&D than I was.   I told the Dr that I wanted to try to have her on my own, but that we would go ahead with the C-section if and when he thought it was best/necessary.  So they tried to induce contractions.  Somehwere around noon, Aunt Gwen and Uncle Buck decided they couldn't stand not to be there.  So they came to keep mom company in the waiting room.  I had terrible back labor, so I only lasted about an hour before I was begging for the epidural (not that I had aspirations to try anything without it).  My hat is off to those of you that have given birth minus meds.  In all honesty, I don't think I could have done it if I'd tried.  About 4:00pm on Wednesday the 21st, they decided it was time.  Addison never dropped (because, as we would later find out, she was just too big.  She had nowhere to go, according to the Dr.), I had only dialated 5 cm in all that time.  So not only would I have had to dialate/efface, but then labor her DOWN, which could take just as long.  And you're on the infection time clock once your water has broken.  So 15 hours later, c-section it was!  

I remember telling Scott when we were discussing our options, "a c-section would be easier here, and harder recovery at home, or we could go harder route here, easier recovery."  Now I haven't given birth the way God intended, but I can say that the c-section was not the walk in the park I thought it'd be.  I do remember telling (whispering) to Scott, "tell them it feels like I'm having a heart attack."  I just kept thinking it felt like there was a coke machine on my chest.  Apparently this is relatively normal: deferred pain, they called it.  Pressure.  Well, I wish we had pics of the whole thing, but Scott gets a little woozy around that much blood etc.  I was very proud of him.  He held it together, and even took a (VERY) quick peek over the curtain - with a lot of encouragement from the doc.  And then, the doctor said, "here's your toddler!" and poked the most beautiful head I'd ever seen over the curtain....for about a half of a second.  She cried.  Scott got really close to me, looked in my eyes and said, "that's our baby."  We cried.  There are no words to describe that feeling.  The worst part was not being able to see her immediately.  Scott got to watch while they took care of her; I was still being sewn up, and trying to stay conscious.  I heard, "9lbs, 12 oz!!!" and kind of thought they were joking.  They swaddled her and put her cheek next to mine, upside down.  I loved it, but it also broke my heart a little bit, because I couldn't see her at all!!  But I loved her immediately.

We were all reunited in recovery - they brought her and Scott to me, and I got to see her and hold her.  She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  She was so wide-eyed and alert and just seemed to be taking the world in.  I loved the way Scott looked at her.  And she breastfed...very well!!  I had been so afraid I would not know how to feed my baby; it was such a relief!  It was such a sweet few moments.  Now that I think about it, that was about the only quiet, alone time we had while in the hospital.  They transferred us to a room, where mom and dad were waiting.  Unbeknownst to me, dad had driven all the way to East Tx for a funeral that day and then all the way to Austin, and had arrived just in time to meet his granddaughter.    I think it's safe to say they loved her immediately too.

Scott was Super Dad from day one.  I expected him to be great with her when she was old enough to play with, talk to, teach, etc.  I expected him (and every other guy in the world) to be at least a little awkward with the newborn phase, especially the diapers.  But he was incredible.  Since I was recovering from the surgery, I could do very little.  I continued to eat a lot.  And then someone would hand me a baby.  I would breastfeed, hand her back to someone to bottle feed, and I would pump.  It was an exhausting cycle.  But it was all I did - Scott did EVERYTHING else.  And appeared to really enjoy it.  He became an expert swaddler.  He would wrap her so tight and put her little hat on her head - he was so mindful of her body temp - and she was happy.  Even then, she would gaze up at him while he was swaddling her - she's been Daddy's girl since birth.  And, I did not even see my own baby's bottom until we left the hospital.

We had LOTS of visitors in the hospital.  Jaime came the day after Addison was born.  Kristin came Friday and stayed until we came home.  Brady came for about that same time, and Meg and Betsy came over that Sunday.  The Guerrero family, Erin and Emily all visited.  Mom stayed the first week with me.  Aunt Gwen and Shana came the Tuesday after we came home and spent the day.  Aunt Doris and Kathy came one day.  Scott's parents came the next weekend and Kathy stayed with me a wonderful 3 weeks.  And, contrary to the surgery being worse than I expected, the recovery was easier than I expected.  Probably because of our mothers and all that they did.  I was so thankful for our mothers.  I cried when mine left.  A lot.  But Kathy was wonderful - she had taken care of her other daughters/grandbabies (who were all delivered via c-section) 5 times before me and Addison, so she was a pro!  I cried when she left, too.  They really made our first month home so enjoyable.  That and the fact that Addison was on a consistent 3-hr eating schedule before we ever left the hospital and started sleeping through most nights at 3 wks old.  We are so spoiled.

My sister in law, Meagan, told me last Thanksgiving, "you will just love her more than you'd believe. And you will love him (Scott) more than ever thought you could."  I think about that statement a lot.  I am not sure I've found a better way to describe the pure joy that our lives have become.


To be continued....
Up next:  To Make a Long Story Short(er): Addison's first 6 months in a nutshell