To Make A Long Story Short(er): Addison's first 6 months in a nutshell

As promised.  Catch-up blog #2.  It's a doozie.

Why did I think every little memory would stay so clear in my head?  Why did I think that I would somehow remember when these little miracles of smiles, laughs, babbles, and wiggles first occurred; that I would somehow have the ability to keep straight what happened at 2 months vs. 3 months?  I mean, I'm not sure that's possible for any mother....and we all know me WAY better than that.  That is why I MUST keep up with (at least) a monthly journal.  (My friend Jaime gave me a calendar that I can put stickers on/write down special events, so I'm consulting that, along with what little I have done in her baby book, to compile this blog entry.)

One Month:
Pure joy.  I remember thinking, as I was getting out of the shower about the fourth day, with my whole body hurting, "I have never been this miserably exhausted in my whole life."  My next thought was, "I have never been this blissfully happy in my whole life."  It was such a wonderful feeling.

My mother was here the first week.  My hormones were a mess, we tried to figure out everything together (after all, it had been a while for her, too!) - a girl just needs her mom in times like this.  She set her alarm every night and woke up with me at every single feeding.  It was so wonderful...until she had to leave.  I was a mess.  To be very honest, I didn't really believe I could do it without her.  I wanted to keep her here forever.  I was pretty weepy all weekend; Scott was so very supportive, but I could tell he thought I was a bit nutty!  Thank goodness though, the Strubys had arrived: Kathy picked right up where mom left off, and stayed for three whole weeks!  I learned so much from her.  Four kids, six grandkids, and a lifetime of (mostly) full-time household management was a whole new ballgame.  She really whipped us into shape!  

When we left the hospital, Addison was already on a perfect 3 hour eating schedule.  She would eat at 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, 10pm, and then 2am.  She never woke up at night other than to eat!! One night the first week, I missed my 2am alarm and woke up in a PANIC that I had starved my child.  I called my mother on her cell (she was in the front guest room) and frantically told her to meet me in the nursery, picked up Addison out of her bassinet in our room (NOT an easy task a few days post c-section with a 10lb baby) and walked as quickly as I could.  Mom tried to assure me that if she was hungry, she would have cried, but I was a little beside myself in that moment.  Anyway, at Addison's two week appointment, she had regained her birthweight, so the pedi told us that we did not have to wake her to feed at night!  She woke up still for a few nights around 2-3am, but then a few days later, she started sleeping through the night...and has ever since.  We are so spoiled.  

Brian, Meagan Jake, Avery and Chloe arrived at the end of the month for the annual Down Home Ranch Gala, which was on Addison's one-month birthday.  We all went to the gala; Addison slept through the live music and live auction.  We got a little creative and fed/burped/changed her in Scott's truck.  They all left at the end of the weekend.  I cried a a lot when Kathy left, too.  Scott said, "you know that's my mom leaving, not yours, right?"  But we had gotten close over those three weeks, and again, to be honest, I didn't really believe I could do it without her.  I said to him through my tears, "I know, but now there are no more moms here!"  To which he replied, "yes there are: you're a mom!"  I cried some more, so scared and said, "yeah, but I don't know what I'm doing!!!"  

To date, one of my favs - the Monday after we got home, Scott leaving for work.

Grandma's lap is so comfy!

New and improved Struby family!  1st Easter.

 One month old! 

 Down Home Ranch Gala

Two months:

As it turns out, I could do it!  Be a mom, that is!  I was still on maternity leave, Scott took a week off work after his family left to give me some extra help; we began to get into the swing of things.  We ventured out a little bit, I tried to keep the house running...now that our clean laundry and delicious meals didn't just "magically appear"!  We went to my family reunion in New Braunfels - our first overnight trip.  We packed THE. ENTIRE. HOUSE.  She did so well - a million (or 30ish) family members were constantly holding her and fussing over her.  It was then that Scott and I realized we could pretty much toss her up in the middle of a room, disappear, and never be missed!  She is definitely loved by many!

My first Mother's Day

Sweet angel

The packing list for the reunion! 

Three months:
So bittersweet.  Just as I was starting to feel capable as a wife and mother, maternity leave was over.  Back to work.  I spent several weeks before (literally) wondering how I was going to fit everything into each day.  It seemed so impossible.  I could NOT wrap my brain around it.  But, we did it.  I've learned that things that really need to get done will get done, and everything else...well, it will get done when it needs to get done!!  Addison started daycare at a little church school, Dripping Springs Presbyterian Academy.  I did alright my first day back, but when it came time to put her down that night, I couldn't believe how little I had seen her.  That's when it hit me.  And the second day.  But, overall, me working is what's best for all of us right now.  I admire all of you that stay home - I think it is the hardest job of all.  Sometimes I feel like I'm taking the easy route by continuing to work.  But I actively miss her every single day, still.  It is the craziest thing.  We made our first trip to Dallas (prior to my return to work), and mom and dad had a "meet our granddaughter" party.  It was fun!  Addison became fascinated by a tall, black iron stand lamp that is next to the rocker in the nursery.  She would smile and make faces at it before she acknowledged us!

 Scott's first Father's day

Addison's new friend, Micah.

Four months:

What a personality!  Smiles, squeals, and "talking", especially when daddy is around!  Scott and Addison constantly "blow raspberries" at each other.  Everything immediately goes into her mouth, and the drool faucet has been turned on!  My best friend, Ashley got married in Fort Worth, so we left Addison with mom and dad for the weekend!  Everyone kept asking me if I was "doing ok" the whole weekend - to be honest, it wasn't that bad.  I can see how it would be SO hard to leave them if you were used to being at home all day, but it wasn't too terribly different than a workday.  Meg and Brady were scheduled to babysit her while mom and dad attended the wedding, but Meg was scheduled to work last minute.  After some worry (on my mom's part) and some stubborn insistence (from Brady), it was decided that Brady would babysit Addison alone.  His words: "She is my niece!  I can do this!  What's the worst that can happen, she cries until she falls asleep??"  Pretty good point.  He did a great job.  

Five months:

This is where the months start to run together, unfortunately.  We always swore we wouldn't fly with a baby; it just looked like such a hassle.  But Addison and I took a last minute flight to Dallas over Labor Day weekend to see cousins Kelly and Iain.  We had a blast and she was perfect - she slept from takeoff to touchdown both ways!  She started rolling over onto her tummy and sleeping that way, mostly.  One day, I set her down on her blanket and walked into the other room for a second.  When I came back, she had steamrolled her way across the blanket to where Deacon was laying and had his paw in her mouth.  My two thoughts were, "YUCK" and "good boy, Deacon"!  He has been more patient and gentle with her than I expected him to be.  We started feeding her real food.  Something about sitting in a highchair makes her look so much like a kid and not a baby!  Sigh.  

 Yes, her first feeding was from a salsa bowl.  We hadn't bought baby bowls yet.  That kind of thing sneaks up on you!

Six months:
On the move!!!  Steamrolling, army crawling and inching her way where ever she wants to go!  The hardwood floors are interesting: she can't get great traction to truly crawl, but she can slip and slide her way across the room in no time!  She is so interactive with us - it is great.  There's no better feeling than walking into the daycare or home from a long day at work, calling her name, seeing her look around, and then scrunch her nose, snort, and rock back and forth in excitement when she finds us.  Scott and I are in a decent routine and I feel like we make a pretty good team.  Addison loves having "conversation" and everything she tries to say comes out "dadadadadada".  It lights up Scott's life.  Anytime I try to get her to practice a different syllable, she just changes her tone of voice.  She has a very high-pitched squeal, and a very low growl, which Scott calls her "scary voice" or her "halloween voice".  Things are getting so fun.

(I'll have to add some more recent phone pics later!)

A long time coming...

Well.  As my dad keeps reminding me, "Life as a Struby is languishing."  He's right.  I've got to keep up with this, because...well, let's face it, life is happening and our little girl is growing SO very quickly that I'm already worried about losing track of every wonderful, little detail.  One of my friends does a great little monthly update on her son and family.  I think that's perfect and completely do-able.  So that shall be my goal.  Starting with now.

(The following is more of a journal entry for myself, just to document Addison's birth and these past six months - YES, SIX MONTHS - for posterity, and mostly so I don't forget the fun, little details.)  

To wrap up the pregnancy portion of the blog, my last blog was March 11th.  I suppose nothing remarkable happened that week, except that I swelled and swelled and swelled.  Overall, I was beyond uncomfortable.  Scott did give me a beautiful pair of diamond earrings for my and Addison's birthday present.  He said I needed to have them in case I went into labor.   March 17th (a Saturday), Scott's old roommate and his wife, Stacey, who had also just moved to Austin, invited us to go to Saltlick BBQ for the afternoon to eat and listen to music.  To be very honest, it was the last thing I wanted to do.  I had not ever met Dustin and Stacey (so I didn't know how great they were!), it was the first warm day of Spring and my only pregnancy clothes were winter-ish, we were going to be sitting outside...on a picnic table...I mean, come on, I was barely even comfortable on the couch in Scott's clothes!  And let's not forget that I hated BBQ throughout my pregnancy.  (which, thank goodness, has since resolved.)  But, I decided to be a good sport.  So after about an hour of trying to find clothes to cover my belly (not to look cute, just to be covered), and shoes that Scott could barely buckle around my swollen feet (because they were waaay out of reach for me), we went.  Honestly, I had a great time.  Although I had pre-warned Scott that I thought I could only bear about an hour, we stayed most of the afternoon.  I'm thankful to have good friends in Austin!

Sunday, March 18th (my 29th birthday), I woke up at 6am.  Maybe a while before.  I got out of bed at 6am.  I was wearing the biggest tshirt Scott owned, a pair of his basketball shorts, because I had outgrown all of my clothes, maternity clothes, pjs, and even a lot of his clothes.  He later told me I looked like a "knocked up high school basketball player."  Sweet, huh?  I really regret not taking a picture at that point, just so I could look back and see it now.  Anyway, I got out of bed with one thought in my head: "THIS BABY HAS TO HAVE A QUILT!"  I always made baby quilts for friends/family, but I had ZERO energy/nesting in my entire pregnancy, so I never even started one.  Until that day.  I busted out my sewing machine, the iron/board and some fabric I'd had (and loved) forever and started whipping up a quilt.  About 7:30 or 8, Scott and Deacon peered around the corner into the living room, man and dog equally wide-eyed, and Scott said, "What is going on in here?  Are you ok?", to which I replied...the only thing in my mind..."THIS BABY HAS TO HAVE A QUILT!"  I worked on it all day.  We broke for meals, of course, since I was eating for 2...or 5 at this point.  But I pieced nearly the entire top.  It is so pretty.  And I haven't touched it since.

Tuesday, March 20, I showered at night because I had my SUPER early, weekly 7:15am dr. appt.  I was ready to have a serious conversation about induction.  I was uncomfortable, she was measuring big.  I felt like I had legitimate reasons to convince him to induce me immediately.  Scott wanted to induce on a Friday, so we had the weekend, blah blah blah...always the planner.  I went to bed with wet hair (yuck!) and was startled awake at 11:00pm.  Scott swears he heard a pop; Deacon jumped up, and I realized I had "wet the bed".  Yup, just like in the movies, the way they say it will never happen, my water broke.  While standing awkwardly next to the bed, trying to wake up/make sense of everything/make it stop, I allegedly asked Scott to "please bring me a towel so I can fashion a diaper."  Who says that??  So we headed for the hospital, and after back-tracking to get my makeup, which I forgot (it seemed important then; Scott was not happy about that detour), and got there a little after midnight.  We called my mother, who decided she couldn't miss one second:  she got up, got dressed and was on the road by 1am.  We were immediately admitted into a room, as I passed the "wet pants test", which is apparently a good thing in L&D...all the nurses cheered.

The thing was, I never had contractions on my own.  Scott and I heard slightly different versions of the statistics, but the doctor basically told us the next morning that it is very rare for a woman's water to break prior to starting contractions, and that when it happens that way, it typically ultimately results in a c-section.  I wasn't afraid of a c-section, I just NEVER thought I would have to have one.  I don't know why - it just never seemed like an option or really even crossed my mind.  I would just deliver.  With meds, of course.  I think Scott just wanted it it over with - he wanted immediate c-section.  Truth be told, I think he was more afraid of L&D than I was.   I told the Dr that I wanted to try to have her on my own, but that we would go ahead with the C-section if and when he thought it was best/necessary.  So they tried to induce contractions.  Somehwere around noon, Aunt Gwen and Uncle Buck decided they couldn't stand not to be there.  So they came to keep mom company in the waiting room.  I had terrible back labor, so I only lasted about an hour before I was begging for the epidural (not that I had aspirations to try anything without it).  My hat is off to those of you that have given birth minus meds.  In all honesty, I don't think I could have done it if I'd tried.  About 4:00pm on Wednesday the 21st, they decided it was time.  Addison never dropped (because, as we would later find out, she was just too big.  She had nowhere to go, according to the Dr.), I had only dialated 5 cm in all that time.  So not only would I have had to dialate/efface, but then labor her DOWN, which could take just as long.  And you're on the infection time clock once your water has broken.  So 15 hours later, c-section it was!  

I remember telling Scott when we were discussing our options, "a c-section would be easier here, and harder recovery at home, or we could go harder route here, easier recovery."  Now I haven't given birth the way God intended, but I can say that the c-section was not the walk in the park I thought it'd be.  I do remember telling (whispering) to Scott, "tell them it feels like I'm having a heart attack."  I just kept thinking it felt like there was a coke machine on my chest.  Apparently this is relatively normal: deferred pain, they called it.  Pressure.  Well, I wish we had pics of the whole thing, but Scott gets a little woozy around that much blood etc.  I was very proud of him.  He held it together, and even took a (VERY) quick peek over the curtain - with a lot of encouragement from the doc.  And then, the doctor said, "here's your toddler!" and poked the most beautiful head I'd ever seen over the curtain....for about a half of a second.  She cried.  Scott got really close to me, looked in my eyes and said, "that's our baby."  We cried.  There are no words to describe that feeling.  The worst part was not being able to see her immediately.  Scott got to watch while they took care of her; I was still being sewn up, and trying to stay conscious.  I heard, "9lbs, 12 oz!!!" and kind of thought they were joking.  They swaddled her and put her cheek next to mine, upside down.  I loved it, but it also broke my heart a little bit, because I couldn't see her at all!!  But I loved her immediately.

We were all reunited in recovery - they brought her and Scott to me, and I got to see her and hold her.  She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  She was so wide-eyed and alert and just seemed to be taking the world in.  I loved the way Scott looked at her.  And she breastfed...very well!!  I had been so afraid I would not know how to feed my baby; it was such a relief!  It was such a sweet few moments.  Now that I think about it, that was about the only quiet, alone time we had while in the hospital.  They transferred us to a room, where mom and dad were waiting.  Unbeknownst to me, dad had driven all the way to East Tx for a funeral that day and then all the way to Austin, and had arrived just in time to meet his granddaughter.    I think it's safe to say they loved her immediately too.

Scott was Super Dad from day one.  I expected him to be great with her when she was old enough to play with, talk to, teach, etc.  I expected him (and every other guy in the world) to be at least a little awkward with the newborn phase, especially the diapers.  But he was incredible.  Since I was recovering from the surgery, I could do very little.  I continued to eat a lot.  And then someone would hand me a baby.  I would breastfeed, hand her back to someone to bottle feed, and I would pump.  It was an exhausting cycle.  But it was all I did - Scott did EVERYTHING else.  And appeared to really enjoy it.  He became an expert swaddler.  He would wrap her so tight and put her little hat on her head - he was so mindful of her body temp - and she was happy.  Even then, she would gaze up at him while he was swaddling her - she's been Daddy's girl since birth.  And, I did not even see my own baby's bottom until we left the hospital.

We had LOTS of visitors in the hospital.  Jaime came the day after Addison was born.  Kristin came Friday and stayed until we came home.  Brady came for about that same time, and Meg and Betsy came over that Sunday.  The Guerrero family, Erin and Emily all visited.  Mom stayed the first week with me.  Aunt Gwen and Shana came the Tuesday after we came home and spent the day.  Aunt Doris and Kathy came one day.  Scott's parents came the next weekend and Kathy stayed with me a wonderful 3 weeks.  And, contrary to the surgery being worse than I expected, the recovery was easier than I expected.  Probably because of our mothers and all that they did.  I was so thankful for our mothers.  I cried when mine left.  A lot.  But Kathy was wonderful - she had taken care of her other daughters/grandbabies (who were all delivered via c-section) 5 times before me and Addison, so she was a pro!  I cried when she left, too.  They really made our first month home so enjoyable.  That and the fact that Addison was on a consistent 3-hr eating schedule before we ever left the hospital and started sleeping through most nights at 3 wks old.  We are so spoiled.

My sister in law, Meagan, told me last Thanksgiving, "you will just love her more than you'd believe. And you will love him (Scott) more than ever thought you could."  I think about that statement a lot.  I am not sure I've found a better way to describe the pure joy that our lives have become.


To be continued....
Up next:  To Make a Long Story Short(er): Addison's first 6 months in a nutshell